HALT & U-TURN Friday, November 20, 2009 1:04 AM
Dear Diary,Back to square one, that's what I decided.
I licked it, tasted it, savoured it then felt the sweetness turn sour then bitter and endured it. Now I think it's finally time to spit it out and brush my teeth, prepare myself for another dish of life. Band is like one of those Super Strong Strepsils that I've been sucking on these days. The first taste is tasteless, then the sweetness spreads, and finally it turns to bitterness. Even though it makes the sore throat less insufferable, the best part is when you finish it or spit it out and gulp down a huge glass of water. The bitter taste is gone and all you feel is that cooling sensation.
That's how I feel now. Relieved of that bitter sensation and feeling free and optimistic. I feel like I can do anything. Maybe I will not be able to find a CCA as good as Band but I think I shall not regret this decision. Every dish has a different taste and we should not prevent ourselves from trying every one of them for the fear of tasting a bad dish. Who knows, I might find something I enjoy even better than performing in a band.
Been there, done that and dying to get out.
I'm sick and tired of all the drama-mama my decision is raking up. I don't want to feel sorry anymore. I don't want to say no anymore. And most importantly, I don't want to play for Sojourn. Please stop making me repeat myself. There's a reason for my disinterest so please just respect my decision.
How I wish I could tell them that. Dunk it right in their faces. But alas, I don't have the heart to do it. I don't want them to hate me, you know? Because my love for them is still there.
I love them, really. But this just cannot go on.
-xoxo
Signing off,
Jay
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